our brief interaction opened me up to the idea of really loving someone the way love should be experienced: courageously and honestly. and in the approach of love as a poetic ideal, self-conscious logic was abandoned in the swells of a great, sweeping romantic flow. those feelings of love shrink with time, yet their memory persists in philosophical and literary thought. since his disappearance, it has become clear that the unmentionable other has visibly left his imprint upon my life. in every conversation i now have, every book i now discover, every wish or expectation i now conjur, there are glimmers of his handiwork.
the unmentionable other’s departure truly drew heavy blood. but his memory has become pleasant, manifested as a teasing reminder of all that is playful and perplexing about life’s grand mysteries. i’ve not oft thought about his existence within the past few months, perhaps due to the slight associated pain, but it was at this point today that i’ve truly accepted the situation.
2011 – July 3
FROM IN ALL THINGS, PATTERNS.